HOW TO CATCH AN AFRICAN SKEETER ALIVE  

(Dallas Frazier)

Friends Romans country men lend your ears and we'll jive
I'm a gonna tell you how to catch an African skeeter alive
You go down to the wilds of Afriki where a jack rabbit packs his lunch
And you'll find him up in a coconut tree goin' munch munch munch munch

Your skeeter catching stuff in clues a cigar ten years old
A great big sack full of hand grenades and a hundred feet of rope
Your gonna need a twelve pound hammer and a helmet made of steel
And a rabbits foot to bring you luck so you won't come home killed

That's what you do and I sure ain't talking no jive
That's what you do if you wanna learn how to catch an African skeeter alive

And now you take your hand grenades and you creep on your tippy tippy toes
And you sling 'em up and you run for cover and you watch them coconuts flow
When the vegetation quits a flyin' it's time for you to move in
And now you can see the whiskers on that skeeters chinny chin chin

And now you take the striperd match and light your cigar up
And you huff and puff and blow that smoke till you get the hiccy hiccy cups
That cigar smoke will make that skeeter's brain start spinning round
Finally he gets real drunk and groggy and he flip flops to the ground

That's what you do and I sure ain't talking no jive
That's what you do if you wanna learn how to catch an African skeeter alive

And now you take your twelve pound hammer and bounce up on his back
And you bash in between his shoulder blades till he turns blue and black
Don't worry about that twelve pound hammer beating that skeeter to death
This just gets his attention and makes him hunt for his breath

And now you've got him all set up to tie up with your rope
You tie a granny knot a hoose knot a navy knot a wing ding a what knot
Be cautious with that skeeter that skeeter ain't no fool
Work hard and save your money and join the skeeter catching school

That's what you do and I sure ain't talking no jive
That's what you do if you wanna learn how to catch an African skeeter alive

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